


The Weight of a Promise

by Bored94



Series: Joi ga joy [2]
Category: Gintama
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Gen, Gintoki finds a home, Hurt/Comfort, Post Joui War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-24
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-15 12:53:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29684247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bored94/pseuds/Bored94
Summary: After the Jōi War and the Kansei Purge, after Ikeda Yaemon freed him, Gintoki met Otose who gave him a home.What happened after Otose met Gintoki at the cemetery?
Series: Joi ga joy [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2181342
Kudos: 13





	The Weight of a Promise

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Il peso di una promessa](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/766182) by Bored94. 



> Hello everyone, another translation for you. Yes I am going to translate all my Gintama fanfictions, sorry not sorry. A friend and I have tons of headcanons in common so we are creating a series here on AO3.

Where honour reigns,   
the given word will always be sacred.  
\- Publilio Siro

Gin flopped in the snow, leaning his back against a tombstone. Things hadn't gone quite as he had planned. He snorted in amusement and coughed. To be fair, things never went the way he planned, but it didn't matter anymore. The bakufu executioner, Ikeda Yaemon, had let him escape, reminding him that he had promised that little girl he would survive until she became the perfect “reaper”, at which point she would be the one to behead him and send him to heaven peacefully.

Gin moved slightly and that sent waves of pain in his whole body: they had beaten him for weeks, he still didn't know how he had managed to walk from the prison to the cemetery without fainting from pain, cold and hunger. Even in that moment, he knew he had to do anything possible to stay awake in his conditions, but he couldn't keep his eyes open and his thoughts were so slow...

 _I'm sorry, little one,_ he just thought as he was slipping out of consciousness. _I'm afraid I won't be able to keep my promise... but after all this is also a peaceful way to die, isn't it?_

He leaned his head against the stone slab behind him and sighed as recent events flooded his mind. He was so tired.

***

The purge of samurai and jōi patriots was getting more brutal day by day, Gin was aware of it. The bakufu not only persecuted the ronins, but it had also begun to arrest and execute their families and anyone who collaborated with them. He couldn't turn a blind eye on it anymore. He was aware that he could not overthrow that corrupt government on his own, but perhaps he would still be able to save some of his comrades, if he traded their lives for something way more interesting for the bakufu. And what could be more interesting to those traitorous dogs than one of the Four Heavenly Kings? That stupid title would finally be worth something. The life of the Shiroyasha had to be worth more than that of some unknown ronin. And after all, what reason could he possibly have to continue living?

He had broken the promise made to his sensei, a promise made almost a lifetime before, at the beginning of that nightmare.

He had failed to protect his comrades. Takasugi and Katsura hated him now, with good reason. Sakamoto had decided to leave everything behind, including the planet. He was alone.

He had failed to protect his mentor. In an attempt to save him, he himself had caused his death. No. He hadn't just caused his death. He had killed him. When he closed his eyes, he could still see his katana cut Shōyō's head off his body, his long light hair smeared with blood and a serene expression painted on his face, as he could still see the horror on Katsura and Takasugi's faces. That sacrifice had been useless. He had killed the man who more than anyone was like a father to him, he did that to try and save at least those who he considered his brothers and he had lost everything. If by giving his life, this time he would be able to save someone, he would be satisfied. And then it was the just punishment. Being beheaded by the bakufu executioner was the most suitable death for someone like him: a disgraceful samurai who had failed to protect anyone and who had killed his own sensei was not worthy of voluntary seppuku. What honour was he supposed to protect?

He snapped out of his thoughts when he heard a man arguing with a group of Hitotusbashi in an alley.

«At least let me live! Of course, as proof of my loyalty I will give you my daughter! She is nothing but a parasite, born from some whore and abandoned on my doorstep!»

Gintoki's arm moved almost automatically, he grabbed his bokken and hit that sorry excuse for a man who had just sold his daughter to save his life. There were many like him around at the time: informers, traitors, cowards ready to sell their families and comrades to try to earn their freedom. _Scumbag_ he simply thought as he turned to look the men in front of him.

«Hello,» he said quietly, while the three henchmen stared at him in shock. «Who am I? I am the daughter of this idiot. I don't remember ever arguing with the Hitotsubashi, but I'll give you the head of this useless loser and also mine, of the White Demon. In exchange... never dare to look for my comrades again.»

Those three didn’t think about it twice, they knew very well who the Shiroyasha was and were well aware that by handing him to their lord, they would receive a reward that would fix them for quite a while.

The silver-haired samurai had let them carry him away without complaining, he said nothing even when he was sentenced to death, nor when they threw him in his cell and the days became a succession of poor food, when the guards remembered to feed him, and beatings, when the guards decided they didn't like how he looked at them or how he answered or how he breathed. He had decided to die, but that didn't mean he wanted to give his captors the satisfaction of breaking him. He would take all their blows in silence.

It was in one of those occasions that he met Ikeda Yaemon, the executioner of the bakufu. He was a bizarre man who believed that prisoners were also entitled to their dignity and that his job was to save their souls, not punish them. His conception of justice had amazed him, as had the little girl who appeared before him promising to become a perfect executioner, so that she could kill him without making him feel any pain. He smiled, he never expected to find such people in that place. _Sensei, I think you would have liked to discuss with the executioner Ikeda_ he thought one night while sitting in his cell, but if he thought that Yaemon was not able to surprise him even more, he was very wrong.

He heard footsteps approaching. Who could it be? It was late at night...

«Sakata Gintoki» the samurai immediately recognized the executioner's voice who sat down with his back against the bars of the cell. Gin wondered how that man could be so calm sitting next to the Shiroyasha, separated from him only by metal rods. Gin could have easily slipped his arms between them and snapped his neck. «How old are you?» the executioner asked, taking the young man off guard. «About twenty? How long have you been in the war?»

Gintoki was silent for a moment before answering, not understanding what was the point of those questions. «Twenty-two, I volunteered four years ago,» he replied. The other man sighed, apparently his answer did not satisfy him. «So young...» he heard him shake his head. «Why did you volunteer? It was already clear that the situation was desperate.»

The samurai clenched his fists and swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat. «I had a person to save,» he replied.

«I'm sorry,» Yaemon turned slightly towards him. «You are too young to end your days like this... and you are not a bad man.»

«In fact, I'm a demon, remember? The White Demon.»

The executioner laughed. «Well, that simplifies things. Only another human being can restore to the human condition those who have become demons because of their crimes. This is why I have no right to kill you. A demon has no right to kill someone like him.» Was he beginning to repent of the women and children the bakufu had executed? Or was it something else? At least now he knew who had told that little girl that he wasn't evil... «Well... you made a promise, didn't you?» the man said standing up and opening the cell door under Gin's astonished look. So, he had also overheard their conversation. He got up cautiously and walked unsteadily towards the door. Executioner Ikeda grabbed him before he fell to the ground and put the boy's arm around his shoulders, he then put his own free arm around his waist to help him stand and started walking down the corridor.

«You seem to have some familiarity with this sort of things,» Gin said, alluding to that kind of impromptu escape the reason of which he couldn’t yet understand.

«Yes, well… it's not the first time. I could not allow people who had not committed any crime to be executed. And those women and children…» his voice died in his throat and he shook his head. «I'm sorry I didn't let you go sooner, but I thought you could resist, so I gave priority to those whose sentence was closest. Then I had to wait for the right night… stop» the executioner said, flattening against a wall after another turn. They were walking along secondary passages that led to completely empty cells, who knew if the occupants were among those who had been able to flee or if they had already been executed. They let one of the guards pass, remaining totally still, only when they heard the footsteps disappear in the distance, they got out of their hiding place and started walking again. «Tonight, on the north side of the outer wall there are two of my men on guard, they will let us pass without problems.»

The samurai nodded. «Did you bribe them?»

«Not only that,» replied the other, stifling a laugh. «Someone who has been bribed can always be bribed back, and in an instant I could be stabbed in the back. No, these are trusted people, their families have worked alongside mine for generations. I felt it was wise to infiltrate them. I put some of them in strategic positions when I became Yaemon,» he paused. «And then I bribed them.»

The two men laughed softly, then fell silent until they reached the exit. Ikeda knocked a couple of times and after a few minutes the thick wooden door was opened from the outside. Gin heard the executioner whisper something and felt another pair of arms support him as the man let him go, he turned towards him one last time, not knowing what to say to that bizarre guy. Yaemon gave him a sympathetic smile. «Remember the promise,» he just said, before closing the door.

The guards, left alone with Gintoki, looked around cautiously, there was nobody around. Not that it was something to be surprised about: at that time and with that weather, no one would ever leave their own house voluntarily.

«Can you stand?» asked the man who had helped him get out. «Can you walk?»

Gin nodded and the other let him go slowly, to make sure his legs wouldn’t play tricks on him. The samurai took a few tentative steps and walked along one of the snowy streets.

Gintoki didn't know how far he would be able to get in his conditions, he hadn't had a decent meal in weeks and was covered in bruises from the beatings, it was a miracle that he could even put one foot in front of the other. The snow was still falling incessantly and he shivered from head to toe: the clothes he wore would never be enough to keep him warm that night, but thinking about that at that moment was useless. He didn't know where he was headed, he only knew that he had to keep walking: if he stopped, he wouldn't be able to move anymore. That was how he had arrived to that cemetery, his stomach writhing in hunger and his feet numb from the contact with the snow. Limping and leaning against the walls to stand up, he had entered the cemetery and flopped by a grave, exhausted.

***

He slowly opened his eyes, surprised: evidently, he wasn't dead yet. He didn't know whether to be happy or not. In any case it was only a matter of time, he no longer felt his fingers and toes, he had tried to cross his arms on his chest to warm up with little success, the light clothes he was wearing were soaked, as was his hair.

He was still lost in his own thoughts, shivering, when he realized that someone was approaching: it was an old woman headed towards a tomb not far from the one he was leaning on. Was it already morning? The sky was still covered with clouds and it was continuing to snow. When did the executioner let him escape? How long had he been sitting there? His attention was again drawn to the woman who had knelt down and was preparing the offering. He felt his stomach contract almost painfully.

«Hey old woman,» he called her, almost not realizing what he was doing. «Do you have something to eat? Please, I'm starving.»

She turned in his direction and looked at him for a moment. «These sweets don't belong to me, I made them for my husband. Ask him if he wants to give them to you.»

Gin stood up, hiding the effort he was making to move. «All right, as you wish,» he replied starting to crawl up the stone stairs, he walked over to the tomb and began to eat eagerly.

«So, what did my husband say?» the woman asked him, not far away. Gin nearly choked on one of the manjū and drank some water from the nearby container.

«Why? Can the dead speak?» he asked in return. He stood up slowly, still turning his back to the stranger. «I will not forget this kindness. I don't think you have many years left, old woman,» he then addressed directly her late husband. «Don't worry, I'll protect her in your place now that you're gone.»

The woman smiled. «Let's see what you can do, even if you're not very convincing in those conditions,» she took a few steps away and turned back. «Come on, let's try to fix you up.»

***

He knew they hadn't been walking for long, but Gin was already starting to struggle to move again. Spending the night in the cold hadn't helped his already exhausted body and he felt stiff. The woman who introduced herself as Otose walked slowly, a few steps ahead of him. Gin tried to keep up, leaning against the walls of the buildings. He was pretty sure that the old woman was keeping an eye on him without showing it. Already on a couple of occasions she had slowed down, realizing that Gin's legs were threatening to give way. The confirmation came when, in an attempt not to lose his balance, the samurai had instinctively reached and grabbed Otose's shoulder, who wasn’t really surprised. She had then decided that was the closest thing to a request for help she would receive from that young man, so she had put his arm around her shoulders and her right one around his waist.

«Come on, we're almost there. It's close,» she said, pointing to a bar a few meters ahead.

***

Otose carefully placed the boy on one of the sofas and sighed, that day had taken a decidedly unexpected turn.

«Ok, take off your clothes,» she ordered the silver-haired man, who looked at her puzzled. «You limp, hold your side and groan, it is clear that it was not the snow that reduced you to this state. Did you get into a fight?»

«Something like that,» Gin cut short and opened the top of the kimono, showing several bruises. Otose got closer to check, there didn't seem to be any open wounds that needed to be disinfected, so she went to inspect his chest, feeling lightly his ribs making the samurai groan.

«You have a few cracked ribs, you'll have to rest for a while,» she just noted as she got up and went to get some dry clothes. The man was still shaking visibly and his fingers were numb, the landlady had to help him change, pretending to ignore her guest’s embarrassment in having to be assisted in something that simple. Once they finished, the woman left the room, returning shortly after with a cup in her hands. «Drink this,» she ordered, handing him freshly brewed tea, then she put a blanket over his shoulders.

She watched that strange boy while he drank calmly, he had to be about twenty years old, the clothes he wore when she found him were too light for that weather and just before, when he undressed to change, she had noticed that his body was covered with recent (and others not so recent) scars. The young silver-haired man had probably fought in the war and, judging by his conditions, he was also on the “wrong” side.

«What's your name?» she asked him point blank. «You know my name, but I still don't know yours.»

He lowered the empty cup and remained silent for a moment, he seemed to be evaluating the situation. Otose waited, if that boy was indeed a samurai who had escaped the Kensai purge, as she was beginning to suspect, insisting would only put him on the defensive because he would probably think she was interested in knowing his name to sell him back to the bakufu.

«Sakata Gintoki,» the young man with silver hair finally answered. Apparently, he had decided that the woman posed no real threat. Gintoki put the cup down on the table and leaned back for a moment: the numbness he had fought in the cemetery when he had seen that woman was taking over again, due to the dry clothes and the hot tea he had just drunk. Otose saw him sigh, take off the blanket and slowly get up from the sofa, then take a few steps towards the exit, before staggering and placing a hand on the door jamb of the room not to fall.

«Where do you think you're going?» she asked calmly, that fool was in no condition to go wandering the streets of Edo again. «Are you in a hurry to go back to die of hunger and cold in the cemetery?»

Gin stopped. «I can't stay here,» he replied, without getting off the wall.

«Why is that? It's my home, I decide who can stay and who can't,» said the woman, standing up and getting closer to him. «Besides, in your conditions you wouldn't last long out there.»

«I'm fine,» he answered, stifling a cough.

«Really? Then you shouldn't have any problems standing, you can get off the wall» she observed with an amused look. Why did men have to be so stubborn? Her poor husband behaved the same way when he was alive, never that he admitted he couldn't do something. Gintoki coughed again and, for what Otose imagined to be sheer stubbornness, he pulled away from the jamb and stepped away from the wall, giving her a defiant look. The woman stood in front of him with her arms folded, observing him in silence until a coughing fit strained his cracked ribs. She saw him turn pale and grimace in pain, allowing himself a few moments of relaxation had been a mistake: he was starting to feel all his tiredness and the pain from the beatings. When she saw him stagger and stretch an arm towards the wall, Otose took the opportunity to grab the boy and drag him to another room. Only when she closed the bedroom door, she let him go, making sure he could stand, and took a clean futon from the closet. She went back to Gin, who by then had given up protesting, and made him lie down. The samurai shivered again and let out a sigh of relief as the landlady tucked him under the blanket. She shook her head, exasperated by his stubbornness. Just to be sure she placed a hand on his forehead and she was not surprised: he had a fever.

Thanks to Tatsugorō, Otose knew very well how their prisons worked, just as she knew what the interrogation methods were. After all her husband had been a policeman for a long time before leaving for the war and had never hidden anything from her. If that young man was a samurai who had fought against the Amanto, as she was now convinced by his scars and prudence, he had been sentenced to death as a traitor and thrown into some damp cell waiting for the sentence to be enforced; the guards had probably taken their frustration out on him on multiple occasions, as far as she could tell from the bruises on his body and cracked ribs. The time spent in the snow had given him the finishing blow. Otose was surprised that he had been able to walk to the apartment and then try to leave. She looked at him for a few more seconds: he was so young... if she and her husband had managed to have children, before Tatsugorō died, they would have been about his age. The woman snapped out of her thoughts and went to fill a basin with water, took some clean cloths and put a damp one on his forehead. He opened his eyes for a moment and raised slightly the corner of his mouth to thank her, before falling asleep.

***

Gintoki slept for most of the following days, Otose on more than an occasion had heard him mutter Shōyō's name in his sleep, but his distressed expression had prevented her from investigating. He was probably a comrade lost during the war, there was no reason to rub salt in the wound.

The landlady woke him up only at mealtimes, when she also changed the futon and gave him clean clothes. She also had to add some pillows, so that he would be able to sleep despite the coughing fits. Luckily, the silver-haired samurai's body was strong: now that he could eat regularly and rest, the fever and cough caused by exposure to the cold of the cell and the staying in the snow were improving rapidly.

However, as his conditions improved, his patience worsened. Gin was aware that he had not totally recovered, his cracked ribs reminded him every time he coughed or breathed more deeply than normal, and that he still couldn't do what he wanted. Of course he was also grateful to old Otose for helping him during that time. He had to admit that it hadn't been so awful to have someone who looked after him for a while, he still remembered the times his sensei did the same for him, Zura, Takasugi or one of the other students when they had the flu or got hurt playing or during training... it had been a long time since he allowed himself to let his guard down, but in those days he had the feeling that he was safe, something told him that the woman would not report him to the shogun. He knew all this, but he couldn't help but feel impatient, he was no longer used to staying in one place too long. What would happen if the bakufu soldiers came and found him there? Otose would be in danger too. He couldn't stay, he made a promise.

Following that train of thoughts, Gin got up from the futon and headed for the bathroom where he washed for the first time since... he pushed that thought away, he didn't want to think about how long it had been since the last time he took a bath. Another point in favour of the old woman: she had taken a dirty and battered stranger into her home without asking questions.

When he was finally clean, he took some clothes from one of the wardrobes, it would pay them back as soon as he could, and walked towards the exit. He stopped when he saw Otose in the doorway. She didn't look surprised to see him dressed and ready to go. For a moment Gin felt guilty, after all he was about to leave without warning. The woman seemed to understand and smiled.

«Do you want to leave without even having breakfast?» she asked as she entered and set the tray on the table. The silver-haired samurai was about to reply that he wasn't hungry, but his stomach protested loudly before he could open his mouth, so he sat down and started eating. «Do you already have a destination?»

The boy shook his head, he didn't really have a destination, nor a purpose. By now the war was over, his sensei was dead and his comrades were gone. What could he do?

«If you don't know where to go and no one is waiting for you, you can stay,» she clarified. «I own the entire building, consisting of this apartment, the bar downstairs and an apartment in the back. I would rent this place even if you weren't here.»

«I can't pay you,» Gintoki replied, without looking up and continuing to eat. He didn't want to delude himself, after all it was true that he had nowhere to stay, but he had no right to turn her life upside down and put her in danger after she had been so kind to him. He didn't even know if the purge was over yet or if they were still looking for the jōi and their allies.

Otose gave him a motherly smile without batting an eye, Gin realized that to her he had to look incredibly young, especially after his time in prison, where he was sure he had lost several pounds. «If that’s the problem we can come to an agreement and find you a job.»

The young samurai shook his head, although he was relieved that the woman had not offered him to live in that apartment for free, it would have been too humiliating... she probably knew that too. «I can't, I made a promise. I can't stay here, it's dangerous.»

«Because you are the Shiroyasha?» the landlady asked point blank. Gintoki looked up suddenly and stiffened. How did she find out? Otose laughed. «Don't worry, I'm not going to report you to the shogun. A boy in his twenties can get the kind of scars you have only fighting in the war these days. I found you hiding in a cemetery and covered in bruises... they had captured you, right?»

Gin hesitated, then answered. «I surrendered,» he paused. «They were taking away my comrades, including women and children who hadn't fought and...»

«And you thought you could offer yourself in their place, being the White Demon. In fact, you must be a very interesting prisoner for the bakufu, if the stories told about you are true,» Otose finished. Gin nodded.

«I wasn’t planning to run away, someone freed me in secret,» he said, as if trying to justify himself. The woman nodded. «But how did you understand who I am?»

«There aren't many samurai your age with silver hair. And then they came looking for you, while you were still recovering.»

Gin gave her an alarmed look. «They came here?»

«Yes, but as you can see, nothing happened. For now, they suspect you are somewhere in this district, but they have no evidence. I don't think they'll be back soon,» she replied, amused by Gintoki's confused expression.

«But why? Why risk it? I'm- It's not worth it...» Why was that woman protecting him? If they were caught, they would kill her!

«Not worth it? How old are you? Twenty? Twenty-two? Don't you think it's a little too early for that? You're too young to throw your life away like this.»

«I won't be of any use to you, old woman,» he replied categorically. «If I stay here, I won't be able to keep the word I gave your husband. I've broken enough promises already,» the young samurai replied with his head down.

Otose risked it all. «Shōyō,» she said simply. «You called him in your sleep a couple of days ago.»

Gintoki stiffened and looked away. «He was my sensei. He made me promise to protect my friends and I…» he shook his head without finishing his sentence.

«Are your friends still alive? »

He nodded.

«Then you honoured your promise and-»

«I killed him, » the silver-haired man spat out, keeping his eyes fixed on the ground, his voice broke. He didn't even know why he was telling these things to a stranger, normally he would have remained vague and would have left without thinking twice about it, but he felt that if he didn't do it, he would explode. «I killed my sensei, I had to. To try to save them. But...»

«They left,» Otose deduced. «But you see, Gintoki, you kept your word. Your friends are still alive. You cannot take responsibility for what will happen to them from now on, their fate is none of your business now that you are no longer together. You have kept your promise the best you could, that's enough. It’s time to move on. Or if you want to see it differently, you have another promise to keep now» how could that woman be so calm? Gintoki had just admitted he had killed his sensei and he was one of the most wanted rebels in the country, yet she was sitting there, offering him a home and looking at him as if he were yet another stubborn kid who walked into her bar, insisting in ordering drinks he could never handle.

«What if... what if they come back?» he asked her in the end.

«We will send them away again. Kabuki-chō has its own rules, the people who live here are not easy to intimidate. No one will sell you to the shogun as long as you are here. So? Shall we find you a job to pay rent?»

Gin gave up and nodded. He would try to have a life and find a new purpose.

 _Living by my own rules doesn't sound so bad... maybe I could try it_ _too_ Gin thought and finally smiled.

**Author's Note:**

> This is the timeline we rely on, taken from canon references and adapted a little bit (based on Gintoki's age):  
> \- 8 years old: Gintoki is found by Shōyō  
> \- 10/11 y.o.: Takasugi and Katsura arrive at Shoka Sonjuku  
> \- 16/17 y.o.: Shōyō is captured and the boys go to war  
> \- 21 y.o.: Shōyō's death, jōi4's separation, Gintoki surrenders himself to the Hitotsubashi  
> \- 22 y.o.: Gintoki settles in Kabuki-chō  
> \- 27 y.o.: he meets Shinpachi and Kagura  
> \- 30 y.o.: war against the liberation army  
> \- 32 y.o.: after time-skip  
> \- 34 y.o.: epilogue of the manga


End file.
